ghost buddies

            as related by lainey_t

 I consider myself to be somewhat realistic. While maintaining this approach to life, I fervently strive to remain open-minded. I am inclined to...what my mother considers a curse...seek my own proof rather than accept an element as truth. Not that I possess a negative or doubtful attitude, I simply find it difficult to accept anything as fact merely because it was stated as such. While being realistic, I am also a dreamer. I have always felt there were many missing pages from the theory handed me on this so-called life. My own theory developed into one that says, basically…anything is possible. This manner in which I challenge life...I also approach the subject of the paranormal. Let me try and help you understand how quickly my own conviction concerning the paranormal came to be. It was all in the proof.

My knowledge was limited to that which I learned from media. I wasn‘t skeptical. Much of what I had learned seemed quite probable. However, until I had a personal experience...I wasn‘t able to truly and undoubtedly accept the paranormal as a reality. Unless you have ever experienced anything of the paranormal nature, it is nearly impossible to imagine the emotions that overwhelm your being. After the initial attempt to explain the phenomenon...and trust me when I say you will come up with every possible rationale imaginable...some not so probable...but more comforting than the realization of your last justification...you ...and anyone you choose to share this experience with...will question your sanity. If you are fortunate enough to encounter the paranormal with others, there is yet little comfort to ease your dubious mind. Once you are past the denial and willing to accept the truth of the situation, there is still little comfort... for this opens up a whole new plane of reality.

I have always been infatuated with anything of an antique nature. Whatever it may be...a home, a piece of jewelry, a book...anything with a history...anything that has been touched by the lives of others before me. My curiosity is born of a passion to know who might have lived in a particular home...the life they might have lived in this home...who might have worn a particular piece of jewelry. ..and the value they might have placed on it. Would they be heartbroken to know it ended up on a shelf in an antique shop? You get the idea, right?

Upon entering a once elegant and grand 2-story home in an ‘old’ section of town, I was beset with intrigue. Through the years and different owners...the home had undergone changes. Changes that were anything but flattering. Obvious was the fact that the elegance of the home had gone unappreciated. I was overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness...a feeling of loss. The ambiance of warmth and pride that once filled this home was lost. Homes such as this possess a history. And it isn’t uncommon for that history to include incidents of a paranormal nature. This particular home fell into that category. The stories were believable. However, not having experienced them firsthand, I wasn’t indubitably convinced. The strangeness is my lack of curiosity. By nature, I am a curious one. These stories should have been enough to send me into a ’curious frenzy’. As I think back, somehow I understood the relevance and truth in these stories. And in a rare instance, accepted them as truth while remaining unaware. No explanation. I just knew. As I think back, there were a lot of peculiarities that went unnoticed. Lights going on and off should have raised an eyebrow, at the very least. Unexplained noises went unnoticed. The unusual behavior in pets wasn’t given a second thought. These things may still have no substance. However, I am much more aware now. There is a lot more eyebrow-raising going on…among other expressions of surprise.

It took ’the ceiling falling on my head’ to arouse my awareness of what was happening around me. Audible, distinct footsteps above my head was my realization that I was ’not alone’. No matter how hard I might try, there is no way to deny that I was sharing space with an entity, paranormal in nature. Was I spooked? As open-minded as I might be...as curious as my nature tends to be....Oh geez! Was I spooked?! H#$@ yea!!! It was almost comical. Almost. You have heard “afraid of their own shadow”? I can now imagine the sight I must have been…jumping out of my skin while passing a mirror and seeing my own reflection. And pity those who happened upon me from the behind. Had I been the sole survivor of incidents such as these, chances are that I would still be a patient in a quiet wing ‘somewhere’. Being that many have had similar experiences, I was comforted somewhat. But not totally.

Thanks to this wonderful age of technology, I was able to begin my quest for answers on the internet. I was overwhelmed with knowledge. Enter ‘paranormal’ in the search box and you will also be amazed with the countless pages of information. I happened upon a paranormal group located in Indiana. After viewing their website, I was able to find much needed comfort. Indiana Ghost Trackers…I applaud you…and will forever remain grateful.

I came to accept the reality of what was happening. I still jumped at 3 am when I heard the door open at the top of the stairs. And felt a chill when I was brave enough to look and see that the footsteps I heard coming down the stairs belonged to no one. I no longer searched for the origin of unusual smells. And merely stepped back as...out of nowhere...a cold breeze passed by.

While finding a tolerable comfort zone, I still had a dreaded fear that I would ‘see’ something. I could deal with the noises and all the other incidents. I just didn’t want to see anything. I pleaded...if only in my mind...that I wouldn’t see a ‘ghost’. But I wasn’t getting off that easy. It was sure to happen. And it did. It was predawn...all was quiet. Too quiet. I detected motion out of the corner of my eye. I turned to focus on this movement. What I really wanted to do was close my eyes and pretend it wasn’t there. However, instinctively I turned to see a shadow moving slowly across the room. The word that spilled out of my mouth would merit a slap from my mother. So use your imagination. The shadow was dark. A dark gray...transparent...without distinct form. More like a cloud. It seemed to...float. As it ’floated’ into the next room, it just disappeared. I sat motionless with mouth agape for what must have been 5 minutes. I was filled with an inexplicable sense of peace. Suddenly I felt comfort with the presence around me. I felt a shared sense of respect.

I still don’t know ‘who’ inhabits this house. Or why. But it doesn’t seem to matter. While I am curious, I feel that ‘tracking’ these spirits would be disrespectful...an invasion of their ‘space‘. The only time I am ‘spooked’ is when I am blasted with the element of surprise. And I have to wonder how intentional this is. I am merely thankful for spirits with a sense of humor rather than spirits in need of an attitude adjustment.

It is many months later since I wrote the above. The occurrences continue. Some more profound than in the past. I have been ‘touched’ several times. The first time was quite emotional. The original steps of the staircase were being replaced. I was irresistibly drawn to that area. I stood at the bottom of the staircase…the original steps lay in a heap. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness…of loss…once again. Quite suddenly I felt a sensation on my forearm…the sensation of a hand being placed on my arm…expressing a shared understanding and an attempt to comfort. Do you know the ‘type’ of touch I am trying to describe? Brave soul that I am, practically ran into the next room with an unmistakable expression of deer-in-the-headlights on my face. The others in the room were naturally curious and I just blurted out that I had been touched and continued hurriedly into even the next room trying to put distance between me and the staircase. The remainder of the evening was uneventful. And I…I went about my work almost emotionless. While I felt no harm from this…it was uncomfortable.

The next time was uncomfortable. However, possessing the sense of humor that I do…I had to appreciate it…and laugh. It was late afternoon and the residents and staff were busy throughout the house. I was totally absorbed in the activity…oblivious to anything or anyone. I suddenly felt a presence behind me and the sensation of my hair being tugged. Not painfully. Just enough to get my attention. I am most certain that my heart is quite healthy. Otherwise, that would have undoubtedly triggered the ‘big one’. The most uncomfortable aspect of this was trying to explain the audible humor I found in this incident. Of course, staff AND residents don’t question much of my behavior. They expect the unexpected of me. And I rarely disappoint them.

While others have had experiences with the spirits in this home, it seems that I am more prone to these experiences than the others. And that is something I question.  I have referred to them as ‘spirits’…in the plural sense. This is just something I know. I just know there are several. Maybe 5 or 6. And there are times when I am able to distinguish which ones are present. Mostly, I just try to stay out of their way. Out of their space. Mostly out of respect…and because I don’t feel that I have enough understanding to make an intentional attempt at communication…I have tried only once. One late night, I took pictures. I announced my intention of photographing their space. After having the pictures developed, it just didn’t feel right. I have made no other attempts. It’s almost as if we have an understanding. I respect their space and they allow me to move about freely and without ‘too much’ incident.

So...while I don't have physical proof...I have all the proof I need to feel comfortable in my belief that the paranormal is indeed a very real part of existence as I know it.